One of the most important things you can do for yourself in life is to figure out in which connection are you at the moment because there are always four places of connection.
No matter what you’re going through, whether you’re winning or losing, you’re always somewhere between these four connections. However, although there are even four possible places to connect with someone, only one of them will help us thrive in life.
The rest of the places will always diminish our performance and well-being or even ruin our relationships, vision or health. In order to avoid this, we need to get out of those three places and stay only in the fourth that helps us survive. Imagine this dynamic as a map with four places that represents the geography of human relationships:
Place 1: Detached or No Connection
Place 2: Bad or Poor Connection
Place 3: Unreal-Good Connection
Place 4: Real Connection
In order to make it simpler for you to proceed, we explained the 4 places in details:
- Detached or No Connection
People are not always in the mood to build powerful and strong relationships due to their close-mind and habit to push people away. People who do this, don’t share their intentions, emotions, plans or ideas. If you try to connect with these people, they will give you a signal but won’t connect because they don’t prefer to make other people feel valued or appreciated.
- Bad or Poor Connection
People with whom you have a bad or poor connection just make you feel bad even when they don’t intend to hurt your feelings. However, sometimes they can make you feel like you’re not good enough on purpose or make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. It’s like they have a super power that makes other people feel bad in their presence. If you connect with these people, you will always be in the position to defend yourself. They will never give a proper reaction or answer to your questions even if you try your best to approach them properly.
- Unreal-Good Connection
Some people can seem like a good connection but there will always be something missing in your relationship them. We go to this type of people when we are in need to feel better, even if we know that our connection with them is maybe good but unreal. You will often wonder whether these people really care for you or just pretending. Was their compliment real or in order to make you feel better. With these people, you can’t have a real strong connection but only superficial connections because that’s what they’re like – superficial. And we all know that no one yearns for superficial relationships without future.
- Real Connection
This is the connection that helps us survive – the real connection because true relationships are what we all yearn for. In order to build this kind of relationships, you need to be completely honest with the people you feel you can truly connect with and let them know they can be completely honest with you too. What’s best about this relationships is that you don’t have to act in order to get these people to like you but you can be your true self. When you dedicate yourself to these people, you feel like they appreciate your time and effort and they do the same for you. The two parties to this type of connection have a mutual understanding and equal investment in their relationship. What both parties think, fear, feel, need or yearn for is always expressed.
Reference: World Parhlo